Every aspect of our lives (at least those of people living in the First World) is getting ”technologized”, so why not up our sex life to 2.0 as well. Apple’s i.Con Smart Condom is Apple’s answer to your need to have your apparatus wrapped in/rubbed by cybernetics. The device will monitor details of your sex life, such as duration of intercourse, number of thrusts made or calories burn, and relay this info to a special smartphone app. The device itself is not actually a condom, though, but a ring to be placed over an actual prophylactic. Good thing, too, ’cause it would suck to have to throw it out after one use. It can be recharged via its USB port.

The device will be available sometime this year, and can be pre-ordered now for £59.99. Don’t know about you, but I’m hyped. Can’t wait to be even more self-conscious while getting some. ”What’s that, honey? Only XXX thrusts per minute? So lame, by ex could do YYY in half the time”.

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